


make me forget that I'm not ready for love

by pirateygoodness



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Cooking, Domestic Fluff, F/F, Kissing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-10-28 06:31:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17782358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pirateygoodness/pseuds/pirateygoodness
Summary: Sara's been here before, but not like this. The last times, she came in through a time portal. She didn't see the front door or even much of the apartment; they were tumbling directly into Ava's bedroom in a fit of giggling desire. It's only been a few months, but so much has happened to both of them that it feels like that day was years ago.They're good at so much of this, Sara knows this. They're good at kissing,greatat sex, but it still feels like there are a lot of rough edges. Like now, when Sara climbs the steps to Ava's front walk and realizes that she's never actually seen Ava's apartment door, before. She feels a sudden stab of anxiety: what if she's got the apartment number wrong. She's never had to know it.(or: Sara and Ava, first date after the breakup)





	make me forget that I'm not ready for love

**Author's Note:**

> Title from "Jump" by Julia Michaels

Sara meets Ava at the door to her apartment. It feels awkward. She's not sure if that's okay - if it's supposed to feel awkward, or if the awkwardness is a sign that she's doing something wrong. Things are better but it still feels tricky to Sara, figuring out the layers of them.

She's been here before, but not like this. The last times, she came in through a time portal. She didn't see the front door or even much of the apartment; they were tumbling directly into Ava's bedroom in a fit of giggling desire. It's only been a few months, but so much has happened to both of them that it feels like that day was years ago. 

They're good at so much of this, Sara knows this. They're good at kissing, _great_ at sex, but it still feels like there are a lot of rough edges. Like now, when Sara climbs the steps to Ava's front walk and realizes that she's never actually seen Ava's apartment door, before. She feels a sudden stab of anxiety: what if she's got the apartment number wrong. She's never had to know it. 

She takes a breath, wipes her palms against the front of her jeans, and rings the bell. 

Ava looks so soft when she answers the door. She's in her sock feet, wearing jeans and a patterned button-down that she's left untucked. Her hair's falling loose around her shoulders, a little messy. It's a different side to her ( _weekend Ava_ , Sara remembers saying once) and it always makes Sara's heart swell to see it. It feels special that she'll let herself be this unguarded. 

"Sara," Ava says. There's a note of something in her voice - like she's pleasantly surprised that Sara came. 

As if she could be anywhere but here. 

"Hey," Sara says. She remembers the bag looped around her wrist, passes it across the threshold to Ava, two-handed. "I brought, um. I don't know if it's good or not." 

Ava takes the bag, peeks inside as if the shape wasn't a dead giveaway. It's a bottle of wine, one that Gideon said was perfectly acceptable and that's basically Sara's limit when it comes to wine knowledge. 

(Nate insisted that she should put it in a bag; Ray found the tissue paper. It feels - Sara's still not sure. A part of her feels like she should know this already, like dating as a semi-normal adult has all these secret rules that she missed out on and she's constantly catching up. But the rest of her feels like it's sort of nice, having people in her life who care that she's got an important date and an important person to impress.) 

Ava smiles, just says, "I'm sure it's perfect."

It's their first real date since Aruba and getting back together. The word _perfect_ means a lot to Sara tonight. Ava steps away from the doorway and Sara follows her inside. "So," Ava says over her shoulder, walking down the hall and into the part of the apartment that Sara knows. "I thought we could cook." 

Sara stumbles a little. "I think you're just saying that because you haven't eaten my cooking." 

Ava rolls her eyes, leans back against the kitchen counter. "I know, but then I thought about picking a restaurant and the last time we tried that -" 

"- Gary crashed our date and I ran out on you before dessert?" 

Ava makes a face. "Exactly. I don't, uh. I'm not the best cook either, but I thought maybe it'd be fun to figure it out." 

She looks at the ground, then up at Sara again, and it takes a moment before Sara realizes that Ava's nervous, too. She moves closer, into the edge of Ava's personal space. She's not close enough for a kiss just yet but she's close enough for Ava to ask for one with a smile and a tilted chin. 

Sara can't hold herself back from giggling as Ava tugs her close with both arms around her waist. She makes a show of not catching herself, tumbling into Ava and letting the force of her body weight bump Ava back against the counter. Her lips land on Ava's, a little clumsy and not quite on the mark but Ava kisses her back like it's fine. 

Kissing seems to center them both. Sara feels her nerves start to settle against Ava's mouth. They've done this enough that it's familiar, almost easy. Ava's kisses don't set her on fire in quite the same way as they did when they were first dating, but there's a layer to them now that's just as good. There's something gentle and grounding, now, in Ava's mouth against hers. She loves the feel of it, the way that she can always smell Ava's hair. She breathes in against Ava's mouth and takes in the hint of laundry soap, telling Sara that Ava put on a fresh shirt just for tonight. 

Her front feels like it's got a comfortable way to fit against Ava's. Sara feels like she can rest there, Ava's chest soft against her own. When she looks up, Ava's smiling at her with the look in her eyes that always - it used to be too much but now it's not. Now it's the look Sara watches for, the one that tells her that she's loved. "So," Sara drawls, fiddling with one of Ava's buttons. "What do you want us to cook?" 

 

They settle on a recipe - pasta with homemade sauce, something simple - but Ava's fridge is mostly full of beer and condiments and it becomes pretty clear that whatever they make, they're going to have to go to the store. 

There's a little grocery market a few blocks from Ava's apartment, one of those half-sized ones tucked in between a coffee shop and a travel agency. It's mostly deserted. They're shopping late on a Wednesday - Sara's pretty sure it's a Wednesday - and the only other customers wandering the aisles are clearly rushing home after a late day at work. 

Sara probably shouldn't find it romantic. 

The light is fluorescent, and the overhead speakers are playing terrible tinny oldies while they wander through the produce section. But Ava leans down, looking at the tomatoes thoughtfully to choose the best few and Sara's heart does a little flip.

(She thinks about being a person who just _does_ this - who goes shopping with her girlfriend every week, like it's not a big deal. She thinks about seeing Ava in her slouchy jeans, her hair falling forward as she sets the best tomatoes carefully into her basket, and this being her everyday. She wants it so much that she feels like she can hardly breathe.)  
(Sara never thought of herself as being the kind of person who would ever want that.) 

She's falling behind; Ava stops near the garlic and looks up to realize that Sara's a few feet away. She reaches out, motions for Sara to close the distance between them. "Which garlic do you think is good?" she asks. 

Sara shrugs, points to a bulb near the top. "That one?" 

Ava scrunches her nose, giggles. "How do you know?" 

Sara doesn't. She makes a face back at Ava. "I just have a feeling about it." 

They wander through the produce section, and down the rest of the aisles. They're looking for pasta, but along the way they stumble through the cookie section and Sara can't resist. She pulls a box of Oreos off the shelf, just to see Ava roll her eyes and say, "We're supposed to be making dinner. What are you, five?" 

Sara reaches out, drags her fingertips along Ava's wrist and plays with her fingers, almost-but-not-quite holding her hand. "But I'm a really, _really_ terrible cook. We're going to need backup food." 

Ava sighs, relents with a smile. She leans forward, catches Sara's cheek in a quick kiss as Sara's leaning down to tuck the cookies into the basket beside the veggies. 

 

They cook together. Or, at least, they try to. 

The recipe seems easy enough. They get everything set up, Sara cuts the tomatoes and the onion and Ava watches Sara with a lazy smile that seems like it's less about Sara's knife skills and more about her hands. It's nice. 

Sara finishes with the knife and Ava comes up behind her to get everything to put into the pan. She presses herself up against Sara's back, wraps an arm around Sara's waist and giggles in her ear. "You're good at that," she whispers. 

Sara feels it right down to her toes, a wave of shivers that run across her skin and make desire flare, briefly, between her legs. It's never been hard for anyone to get Sara worked up, but Ava especially. She has this gift for making Sara feel wanted, all the time. Sara blinks, sets the knife aside. "Thanks," she mumbles in reply. She rocks her hips backward, bumping them against Ava's and she's rewarded with a little chuckle and a kiss against the back of her neck. 

Ava takes the onions, dumps them into the pan and she's rewarded with a sizzle. The aroma coming off of them is familiar. It reminds Sara of home, the smell of dinner starting and that feeling that used to come with it: like everything was okay. There's something about it that's just - 

"Hey," Ava says. "Where are you?" 

Ava's looking at her - has probably been looking at her for a few moments, frowning softly. 

"Sorry," Sara says. "I was just - thinking." 

Ava steps into Sara's space, wraps her arms around Sara's back to pull her into an embrace. "About what?"

Sara thinks, for a moment, about - not _lying_ , but dodging the question. Smoothing over the truth, keeping this light. But Ava's eyes are so kind and she's watching Sara with such concern, her hands rubbing at Sara's shoulder blades so comforting that she feels alright being honest. "It just - makes me think of being younger, that's all. My dad used to cook for us a lot." 

"You want to talk about it?" 

"There's not much to talk about, it's just - I don't know. A feeling, I guess." 

Ava ducks her head to catch Sara's gaze. "What kind of feeling?" 

"It feels like home, I guess. Kind of safe," Sara says. She means it about the food and the way the onions sound and smell but she also means it about the feeling of being in Ava's arms, wrapped up like this. 

Ava smiles, like she understands without Sara having to say it all. 

She leans in to kiss Sara, and Sara knows that Ava means for it to be fast and comforting but she can't help herself. She threads her hand through Ava's hair and pulls her closer. There's this thing she can do; her nails gently scratching along the back of Ava's neck, that gets Ava worked up without fail. She does it now, drags her nails along Ava's scalp with just enough pressure and she's rewarded by Ava shivering and groaning into her mouth. "I thought we were going to cook," Ava murmurs. 

"Just one more." 

Sara can feel Ava smile against her lips as she moves in to kiss her again, more deeply this time. Ava's hands slide from Sara's back to her hips and she pulls her close. Sara's hips fit just right against Ava's, her pelvis settling in at the top of Ava's thigh and suddenly Sara doesn't care if they ever eat. One more kiss becomes three, then seven, then Ava's tongue sliding into Sara's mouth and Sara running her hands up the hem of Ava's shirt. 

She breathes in, and Ava inhales at the same time and they pause, together. Sara, because she's just learned that Ava's not wearing anything but a bra under her button-down and she wants, so badly, to undress her. Ava breaks their kiss, says, "Do you smell that?" 

It breaks the spell, and now Sara _can_ smell it - the harsh smell of carbon and burning. "Shit." 

The onions aren't on fire but they're close; burned black to the bottom of the pan with tendrils of thick, dark smoke wafting up and into the room. " _Shit_ ," Ava echoes. She takes the pan off the heat, covers it with the lid and turns off the burner. 

By the time she's finished, Sara's laughing. She doesn't mean anything by it - clearly they're both to blame for forgetting about dinner - but it's a little funny. Ava falters. "Hey," Sara says, rubbing a reassuring hand along Ava's arm. "I told you I was a bad cook." 

Ava sighs. "I just wanted this to be -" she stops, shakes her head. "It's okay." 

"No, no, it's not. What's wrong?" 

"I just wanted us to have one perfect date, that's all." Ava says. "No pirates or Gary or time demons or whatever other absurd interruption the universe can cook up for us." 

"You forgot the time Ray walked in on us in -" 

Ava winces. "Trust me, I didn't." 

Sara forgets, sometimes, that Ava can feel like this. She's always larger than life in Sara's eyes, beautiful and effortless and organized and cool. Sara doesn't always notice when she's feeling insecure. "Hey, it's alright," Sara says. She pulls Ava away from the stove and the ruined onions, into a hug. "I don't - it doesn't matter to me, all that perfect date stuff. I just want to have a night where I get to be with you." 

She pulls back from the hug and now it's her turn to lean down and catch Ava's gaze. Ava looks so soft and a little fragile. Sara's heart squeezes, she wants to make Ava feel better so badly that it's almost a physical sensation. "You sure?" Ava asks. There's a little wobble in her voice that Sara feels in her chest, a little answering flicker of vulnerability. 

"Of course," Sara whispers. 

"What are we going to do about dinner?" Ava asks. 

Sara kisses her, soft and slow. She waits with her mouth against Ava's, holds the moment until she feels Ava relax against her. Then Sara kisses her again, and another time for good measure, until Ava is calm and pliant in her arms and Sara feels a little more grounded. "First," Sara says. "I'm going to take you upstairs, and take your mind off of what we just did to your kitchen." Ava smiles at that, forces a soft little chuckle. "Then, we're going to order pizza. And it's going to be perfect." 

Ava rolls her eyes. "You're so -," she begins, before she shakes her head, not sure of the right word. 

Sara moves in to kiss her but stops at the last second, bites at Ava's lower lip instead. "You love it," she says. 

Ava fits their hips together again, slides her hands down Sara's back and into the back pockets of her jeans. She squeezes Sara's ass, pulls her as close as she'll go. It is perfect, just like this. "I do," Ava says.


End file.
